Luring, it could be happening right now, in your home.

Image

Author: Larissa Mills, B.A., M. Ed
Parenting Coach, Teacher
Educational Consultant: larissa@iparentgen.com

Prevention

  • What is a predator?
  • They will say nice things to you and try to be your friend.
  • Predators want private conversations
  • How do they lure kids  out?
  • Boys are lured through games
Your child could be being lured online while you are making dinner! Learn how to help prevent.
Larissa Mills, iParentGen.com

Educating our children

  1. What is a predator?  Online predators are sweet, complementary,  and want to focus just on your child.  They want private chats with children.  They have fake profiles, usually similar ages to your child’s. They could be using a photo of someone they know as well and pretending to be that person.  It is important to teach your children to question their friends with things only they will know, like a secret password.  Online passwords are wise, for example, if you aren't sure of someone, what is the online password I gave you at school? If they don’t know, they weren’t the real friend in your child’s class, they were somebody else.
  2. Predators will only say nice things about you. They want children to feel safe with them and isolate them from others. They will tell them they have similar interests, feelings, and goals to be close to them. Once the safety net is cast, they will lure them out. Predators will always take your side and agree with you. They say, “come to me when you need a friend.” 
  3. Predators want private chats. They will ask several times to go off into a private chat room with a child. This process of asking questions and building trust is called, Grooming. They will attempt this numerous times.
  4. Predators want online camera chats. They will have researched all of your child’s social media accounts to collect the following details:  Who their friends are? What sports teams are they on?  What their interests are?  What they like to wear.  They will find details about your family and keep all that information about you.  They will want your child to keep their  relationship secret with them. They will isolate you from your child. This is their job and they are very skilled at it.
  5. How do they lure?  After predators have built trust, security and rapport, they will ask a child to meet them. It could be anywhere, usually a place children can easily travel to. Most commonly to a mall, movie theatre, areas devoid of street cameras though.
  6. More boys are lured through games. While boys are gaming with someone, they will talk to them and ask them questions. Fortnite, Xbox games,  Call of Duty,  any game that allows the gamer to hear and see who else they are playing with.
I check my own children’s phones, they hate it, but I have found things like ... an older woman asking probing questions on my son's phone.
Larissa Mills, iParentGen.com

Tips

  • I check my own children’s phones, they hate it, but I have found things like fake friends, a picture of an older woman asking probing questions on my son's phone. Nude photos sent to both of my children from others etc.
  • Teach them how to add friends that they only know by face. It has to be that way. The only time this is the adverse are for sports teams, celebrities or a brand, like Nike. Even then you have to make sure.
  • Teach them to ask online passwords to friends at school. Tell your children to create an online password, tell your child to say, “I have to because my parents check my phone.” This way the other your child saves face and the hate is deflected to the parent, not your child.
  • They want to give out gifts. They will start to make sexual comments that are uncomfortable.
  • They will want you to share videos.
  • They may intimidate you or threaten to hurt a family member so you will meet them. Most are not threatening.
  • They will want to see pictures of your child.
  • Ask your children, if anyone is giving them things or giving them money.
Here is an example from a mom who found her son’s phone and looked through it.

“Concerned Mom, on November 5, 2017 at 11:37 pm

I am a parent of a teen. After he snuck an old phone from his dad’s house that I didn’t know he had until the next day, we found transcripts of Skype conversations with a stranger that I’m 99.9% sure was an adult posing as a teen, wanting him to video himself. It doesn’t look like it ever became a live video (sorry I don’t use Skype so I don’t know what all it entails or the correct terminology).

Is there a way to trace possible child predators?”

(Knowing how to use this technology could save your child).

Wrap Up
Luring facts from Statistics Canada

  • Not as many of the attempts of luring are reported or even fully known. 
  • Only the luring attempts that are made or reported are known.
  • A study of approximately 5,200, 4th to 11th graders representing every province and territory across Canada, about 3 in 10 youth indicated that they would provide their real names and addresses to sign-up for free email or create a profile on a social networking site, while 16% indicated that they had intentionally visited a pornographic website and 9% had visited an adult chat room during their current school year (Media Awareness Network 2005).
  • Kids will fill out profiles for free items with no regard for the private information they are providing. The source of who they are providing that info to police advised me goes to different runners (illegal organizations who will seek out people in specific cities just based on simple geography. The criminals have it all organized.
  • The increase in technology has tripled the increase of sexual discussions and viewing online. Kids share photos, their sexual histories, and their own stories online to virtual strangers.
  • As a child ages, they will gradually talk about more and more mature content. Be sure to educate them about luring, nude photos, and breakup photos before they see it. This is a prevention and education game now.

https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2009001/article/10783-eng.htm

Resources

  • Hot Lines:

    • Toronto, 1-833-900-1010

    • There is always a hotline in your local area if you need help or call 911.

  • I am here so just e-mail to book a free 30 min consultation (While time-slots are available)

Larissa Mills, B.A., M. Ed
Parent Coach & Educational Consultant
Founder of Iparentgen.com
larissa@iparentgen.com

Helping families balance life with Tech
Corporate Support Services and Training.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *